I am a holiday slacker. Although I am impressed with the amount of time and creativity that some people invest in making their Christmas picture perfect, these holiday over achievers make some of us feel totally inadequate. I can't help but wonder how some people find the time for the nightly ritual of cookie baking and creating home made ornaments as they wrap presents with wrapping paper that has been hand stenciled and it is all done inside a home adorned with so many Christmas lights it can be seen from outer space.
Yet, at my house, I struggle to find time to put up a Christmas tree and I often feel totally inadequate as I watch my neighbors spend hours hanging outdoor light displays. Although I do try to make time to do that little extra for the home, there are times when I feel like creating that "Better Homes and Gardens" look is a never ending battle.. I thought that it would be easier once the children left home but, even as an empty nester, my house has rarely been empty. Children move back in for a few months as they transition , family comes and goes, and friends who are transitioning are always welcomed here so I am rarely alone. What this translates into is that the "Better Homes and Gardens" look is always a work in progress and it is never quite complete.
As Christmas approaches I am busy with the normal Christmas hustle plus this year I am struggling with elderly parent issues. Combine this with a stream of visits from out of town guests, (not to mention my regular obligations) and I am lucky to find time to sleep.... let alone decorate. The dining chairs I began to recover a few months ago are still work in progress but I did complete one chair. Only seven more to go. I purchased a new bar-b-que and it took two weeks before I found time to put it together. However, thanks to a good friend, we were able to combine a football party with a bar-b-que party and through a combined effort we were able to put it together then used it to make dinner.
The bottom line is that I have more to do than I have time to accomplish the tasks. Cookies need to be baked, my Christmas decorations are not up, I still have shopping to complete, I need to find time to have my carpets cleaned, tend to my mother's appointments, get clothes for upcoming events, and I need to manage this while working long hours. It is only a couple of weeks until Christmas, yet I can't seem to find time to prepare and my holiday spirit had not made an appearance. I kept praying for guidance while fully expecting God to divinely help me discover a schedule where I could accomplish everything in a timely fashion but, once again, God has his own agenda.
One of the things I do all year is volunteer to help others. I feel that it is important to help give back so I make this a priority.This week I was part of a group from my office who served breakfast to the homeless. As we walked through the dining room and talked to people there I heard stories that broke my heart. One woman was in her 70's and alone. She asked for an extra bread so I found a way to give her some and the gratitude that she exuded from such a simple gesture brought tears to my eyes. Suddenly, my decorations didn't seem all that important and my worries about finding time to bake cookies disappeared.
My friends and I were part of a group who sing Christmas Carols in the children's ward of a hospital. This week, as we walked through the halls a tearful young mother asked us to sing to her child who is in a coma because her baby loves music. We couldn't go into the room so the nurses took us to an atrium that is open to the floors above. This atrium had wonderful acoustics, a lovely Christmas tree, and a grand piano off to the side. One of the young men with us began to play the piano as we sang. We could see the young mother waving to us from above as several young people in wheelchairs were brought out to listen. I could see one young lady close her eyes and silently sing along.
My friend hosted a Christmas get together and her home was beautiful, the decorations were perfect, and the food was amazing. As we sat at the table talking, she told us a stories of previous Christmas holidays shared with her late husband. It was at this moment that I began to hear the answer to my prayer and realized how misguided my expectations have been.
While my focus was on the decorations, the baking, and the superficial part of the holiday season I lost sight of what is truly important. In that moment, God showed me that my friend would gladly put up with a little more clutter and a little less time for holiday decorations if she could spend one more Christmas with her husband. The young mother at the hospital would be happy with a home that is not picture perfect if only she could have her baby healthy and home for Christmas. I felt a sense of shame as I realized that all I need to worry about is decorating my home yet I should be grateful to have shelter while so many have so little that even an extra piece of bread from a stranger brings great joy.
The desire to compete with the holiday over achievers has disappeared and when I adjusted my expectations for the season I began to feel a sense of freedom followed by surge of Christmas spirit. I will put up decorations but I am no longer worried if I have enough lights on my house to compete with my neighbor. My focus is now exactly where it should have been all along.... making memories with the special people in my life.
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