Water

I am not a person who has the patience to sit idle and wait for life to come to me.  Some people can sit on the shoreline and dream about the ships on the horizon but I would rather grab a kayak and go out to greet them.  Patience eludes me at times and, over the last few months,  my patience has been sorely tested. 

 

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, and it takes more strength and faith to be kind." Ghandi

This began when I received the call that my mother could not live alone any longer and she came to live with me.  She didn't want to come to my house but she had two choices and my house was the lesser of the two evils. We have never had  a strong relationship, we are different people, I like clean and she isn't as concerned about it, she can be demanding, and I have always had an active lifestyle but I found myself forced to give up many of the activities that I enjoy so I could take care of her.  Then a few other catastrophes surfaced and I had no time to attend to them properly.  My stress level was at an all time high and my patience was fading.  The ships were still on the horizon of life but I had no other choice than to sit on the shore and simply watch the ships pass by as my kayak sat on the beach gathering dust. 

And remember that compassion is not only reserved for others, but also it's important to practice compassion toward ourselves. Even though each drop of water in the ocean is small, each drop is an important part of the whole. Appreciate your unique contribution to the world!  Anna Levesque

As difficult as this process has been, the entire situation has provided some invaluable life lessons to me.  I can be both stubborn and single minded at times so I would pray every day for patience, strength, and to help me be receptive to whatever it is that I am supposed to take away from this even if God had to slap me in the face with his message to ensure I hear it.

Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it"
- Lao Tzu

As I stood staring longingly at my kayaks one afternoon I realized that people who struggle in kayaking are the people who try to fight the water.  Kayaking is not about strength. Success in kayaking is about the technique of moving with the water instead of  fighting against the current.  I realized that life is similar and  I have been fighting the current when I should have placed my paddle in the water to see where the current takes me.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless like the water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."
- Bruce Lee

 

I have certain boundaries  that I will not compromise on, but I worked to adopt a different attitude.   As a result, I understand my mother better and found that a softer approach helped me gain a better understanding of everyone else.  The results have been nothing short of miraculous.  There are still challenges that I must deal with daily, however, I have learned to work around them and I am even beginning to find ways to carve out small pieces of time for myself every once in a while.

I read an article written by Anna Levesque, a kayak champion, and she says it better than I ever could.

Water accepts what is and continues on its path. When we accept what is happening at this moment in our lives we are better able to go with the flow without creating suffering for ourselves and others. This doesn't mean that you just let life happen to you and become apathetic. On the contrary, when we accept what is we are better able to take right action. The water flowing down a river doesn't resist when it hits the rock. It doesn't complain, feel victimized or react in fear. The water simply changes shape and direction to flow around the obstacle.

Frustration and unhappiness with our progress in any aspect of our lives is a sign for us to take a step back and remember that gentleness, effortlessness and patience can generate amazing results. We don't have to push and do all the time. What I've come to realize is that sometimes it's not about making it happen as much as it's about doing the work mindfully and then allowing it to all come together - effortlessly.

Anna Levesque

 

Everything happens for a reason. "Be water my friend."