The one thing I fail to comprehend is why people, especially women, only see my single status instead of the person I am. Yes, I would like to meet someone to grow old with but I enjoy my life and refuse to make a hobby out of pursuing a man. Recently, I joined a kayak club so I could enjoy a sport that I have a passion for while in the company of others who share my love of paddling and the outdoors. It is not a dating service and the members consist of both singles couples. I have one friend who asks to see my pictures from time to time and doesn’t make one comment about the outing. Her focus is on the men in the group and if I have found potential males there. The few times I have shared pictures with her she was so busy focusing on the potential males in the group she actually missed the one photo I am very proud of. It is a rare sighting of a bald eagle sitting in a tree looking off into the distance as though he were posing.
In my youth one of the “workers” at meeting (church) shared a story about a young elk who spent his time dreaming of the day when he would mature and grow his antlers. Later, as an adult, he spent many hours admiring his antlers in the reflection of a lake while criticizing his long legs and muscular body. He was so busy admiring the antlers he failed to notice a lion stalking him. The lion took chase but the elk’s long legs and muscular body put distance between himself and the danger. When the elk ran into a grove of trees, his antlers become entangled in the branches and he was killed. The moral is that the elk was killed by the very part of himself that he admired to the exclusion of all else but his life could have been saved by the part of himself that he took for granted.
"What is our greatest strength in one situation can be our greatest weakness in another." Joel Osteen
I had a 16 year marriage that was difficult, left scars, and had a painful ending so I am not anxious to repeat the experience. I am single by choice. Since my divorce 10 years ago I have had marriage proposals and I accepted one of them, only to withdraw the acceptance later. I still have the sapphire and diamond ring that he wouldn’t take back. My marriage was painful but I learned a valuable lesson from the experience. As a result, the relationships I have had since my divorce were of a better quality because of lessons learned. Today the focus is on living my life to the fullest and letting God guide me into places I never imagined I would go. I refuse to sit on the sidelines. It is too easy to dwell on what we don't have in our life and, in doing so, not see the blessings.
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".
Erma Bombeck
Yes, I would marry again if I met the right person. The “right person” for me doesn’t have to be handsome or rich. He will definitely not be perfect because a perfect man is boring. I would want a man who carries himself well, can make me laugh, engage in intelligent conversation, good values, a good work ethic, accepts me for who I am, gives me room to grow, and who has imperfections I can live with.
"People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow."
Erma Bombeck
Being alone isn't as bad as people make it sound. I don’t answer to anyone except myself and I am never bored. When I came home last evening, my granddaughter’s eyes lit up with happiness and recognition as I entered the room. My dogs greet me with joy. I have a circle of close friends who mean the world to me and I see them often. My children and I have a close relationship. I enjoy my job, I do volunteer work, pursue my passions, enjoy my home, my hobbies, my life. I think that staying home with a good book and a glass of wine is so much better than a bad date.
If the loneliness hits, as it does sometimes, I allow myself that moment of wishful thinking. Then I remind myself that being alone is easy compared to being vulnerable to another person. Marriage and commitment is not for wimps. It takes respect, courage and commitment , sacrifice, and compromise to make a relationship last. My friend told me that a marriage partnership starts out like champagne with excitement and bubbles. As it ages, it matures into a fine wine. Still something special but with a different flavor.
"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. "
Erma Bombeck
Becoming completely vulnerable to another person who has the ability to have an impact on every area of our lives takes more courage than being alone. It would take a courageous man to make a life commitment with me. I am strong, territorial, independent, and need room to grow. A weak man won’t long with me and the good candidates are unavailable. However, life is a journey and we never know who we will meet along the way. Today I am both single and content.
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
Erma Bombeck
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