Valentines Day

As a single woman, I look forward to, but I also dread, the arrival of Valentines Day.   This is a day when my friends and I usually plan a girl's night out with good food, good conversation, and a bottle of wine.  However, this is also the day when well meaning friends began issuing lamentations of concern because I am not attached.  My single status has always stood out during the week of  February 14th,  reminding friends and family that I am flying solo.


My sister wanted me to come up North to attend an outing with her and her husband on Valentines Day.  I declined because Valentines is Friday so it conflicted with my work schedule, I didn't want to intrude on their Valentine celebration, plus I already had other plans for the weekend so going up North would not leave time for chores.  I assured her I am fine on my own but will come up later in the month.  This year, as usual, a couple of married male friends began to quiz me on why I am single and asked why I am not investing most of my time looking for a mate.  At first, I was offended but then I realized that both of these men are very happy in their marriages and only want the same for me.  So, I said something I knew would make them stop.  I shrugged and then told them that I am too ugly.  They were speechless at first and then we had a good laugh.  The subject never came up again.

In my opinion, Valentines Day  is a Hallmark holiday to help merchants boost their sales.  Yes, I realize that this sounds a bit cynical, and I suppose it is a cynical attitude, but Valentines Day was not originally marked as a day of romantic love.  History has  a few versions of how the day originated but this day was originally designated in history to honor St. Valentine for his stances on Christianity and marriage.  How this day has been re-created into a day of engagement rings and long stemmed roses requires more historical analysis than I am willing to invest in at this time.

The news media spews out a lot of nonsense that ranges from the joy of being single to ideas on how make this Valentines Day stand out from everyone else's presentation of Valentines Day.  In my opinion, Valentines Day should not be a contest and, although being single is not ideal, being married to the wrong person isn't ideal either.  Attached or single, their are pros and cons each way.  Even when I am in a relationship, I have always preferred to keep Valentines Day low key.  Two dozen long stemmed red roses are not any more significant that one  long stemmed red rose (except the price) and a marriage proposal should be a personal moment between two people, not a contest to see who does it best for the world to see.

Over the years I have received the traditional flowers, balloons, teddy bears, and jewelry but my favorite Valentines Day ever was when a boyfriend tried to make me some heart shaped cookies that he had decorated with sweet sayings on them.  He had never made a cookie in his life so they were far from perfect. However,  I appreciated the effort so much that I still have a picture of those cookies even though we have not been together for years. 

It seems that Valentines Day has become a day to elevate single awareness while sending a message to  those in relationships that a lot of money is necessary to show how much love they have for their partner and  whatever they do on that day,  needs to be done in a way that outshines all other Valentines Day celebrations.  What some people forget in all of this flash and dash is that love isn't about the roses and diamonds. Love is trying to make cookies to send a loving message, going out at 3a.m. to get medicine or personal items for our significant other when we would rather be sleeping, or making time in our own busy schedule to complete a chore that will help our partner on their busiest day.  These things are what true love, romantic and otherwise, is all about. While the roses and diamonds are nice, they are not essential. Love, in all forms, is about the intangible things while the Valentines Day flash is just glitter to make a relationship look extra pretty one day a year.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentines Day weekend.