Some people assume that I either need help finding Mr. Right or they wrongfully assume that I am an anti-man crusader. Then there are well meaning folks who believe that my primary hobby should be looking for a man to complete my life. I realize that their motives are pure but there are times when I just want to tell people to stop. Please just stop!
One of my good friends told me she doesn't understand why I am not investing more effort into trying to meet someone. I had a good laugh when she told me to try online dating. Her exact words were "You should try online dating! It is like online shopping for the perfect man with endless choices. All you do is choose the physical attributes and personality types and POOF you meet exactly what you were looking for!" Those words confirm that she has never tried online dating.
This last year has been brutal and there simply wasn't any room in my life for dating. However, now that things are becoming more settled I am taking advantage of opportunities to get out and mingle with other single people but dating, just for the sake of dating itself, has about as much appeal as a dentist appointment.
One other consideration is that I tend to fall for men based on the quality of their heart rather than the quality of their looks. An attractive man is eye candy but the attraction fades quickly for me if his heart is not as attractive as his physical self. The men I have fallen for in the past didn't stand out to me at first. Usually there is a character trait, or some attribute, that catches my attention and I begin to take a closer look. A good heart and great sense of humor will catch my attention so much faster than a perfect physique or an expensive sports car. That perfect physique might cause me to look twice but that is not what will hold my attention. If I like the essence of the man, I will begin to notice physical attributes that appeal to me. It is like falling for someone from the inside out.
I am both a realist and a romantic. The realist lives in the hear and now with no illusions but the romantic gets choked up seeing over an older couple holding hands as they walk down the street. The books and movies I enjoy are legal thrillers and science fiction but I also love romantic comedies. The realist has accepted that I may never find anyone to share my life with so my focus is on creating a full life with or without a partner. However, the romantic is always aware of the positive impact that love and romance has on our lives. Reality is like the main course and romance is the seasoning that elevates the meal from meat and potatoes to something divine.
The well meaning people in my life who are concerned because I am not scouring the surrounding territory for a mate can put their concern to rest. I am definitely open to the possibilities of love and romance. However, because of my responsibilities, time is a precious commodity that is not to be wasted on empty dates. While the romantic in me is still alive, the realist is the one who guides me.
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