Most of us are grandmothers and we spent time sharing pictures and stories as we began to talk about growing older in the 21st century. We all agreed that our lives do not resemble that of our mothers or grandmothers at the same age. I attribute this to the fact that our ancestors fought a battle that would allow women to be recognized as something more than domesticated goddesses. The women who walked before us fought for equality which resulted in creating opportunities for my generation that our mothers and grandmothers didn't have.
Women who choose to stay home and raise a family need to be applauded. Being a full time wife and mother is not for the faint of heart and, unless someone actually experiences what it means to be a stay at home parent, most people will fail to understand the sacrifices that someone must make in their own lives to stay home and raise children full time. However, any woman who lives her life as a housewife and mother should be living this life because she wants to, not because she has no other options. The freedom to choose is what the women who went before us fought so hard to achieve. Perhaps this is why I find it troubling when I hear major players in the market, like Abercrombie, make comments that relate a woman's value to the circumference of her waistline or when I read an article that alludes to the fact that a woman needs to be in a relationship to be complete.
Why should one's life be limited because of one's gender, size, age, or marital status? What actually limits any person is the perception we have of ourselves. As we were cleaning out my mother's house, I was happy to see some unfinished projects to be sold or giving away. Aside from the multitude of trophies and awards mom had for her music, there were unfinished projects next to her sewing machine. Next to her kiln there were some unfired ceramics and on a table nearby was her lapidary saw with some rocks that needed to be polished. I admire the fact that my mother did not sit at home waiting for life to happen. Although she never ventured far from her own community, she was constantly trying something new, living life to the fullest. I admire her for that.
For myself, I don't want to sit in the back row trying to be invisible. I want to be in the front row, taking the risk of being seen for just who I am, so I can experience all that life has to offer. My gender is not going to limit me from living. A friend of mine said that when she leaves this earth there will be an unfinished quilt and an unfinished book. For myself, there will definitely be an unfinished book, a project underway, and a photo album filled with pictures of my adventures.
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