Musings On My Faith

 

There is an old Indian proverb about two wolves.  It says that there are 2 wolves inside every person.  One is full of evil wanting to kill, destroy and devour anything it can.  The other is full of love wanting to look after the weak and take care of the less fortunate.  The one that grows is the one you feed.

I was recently engaged in a disturbing conversation with a woman I know who was sharing concerns about a dilemma with her college age daughter.  The daughter's childhood friend is not as involved in her church and had become too involved in worldly activities. All of the friends that they had grown up with in the church no longer wanted to associate with the friend.  The friend was judged and gossiped about until the friend became depressed, withdrew from all social activities, stopped going to church, and eventually tried to commit suicide.  Fortunately, the suicide attempt failed and the girl was sent to spend time with her aunt.  The daughter no longer spends much time with the friend but still talks to her on the phone. This woman wants her daughter to completely cut the other girl out of her life and is upset because the daughter doesn't see the logic.  I suggested that the daughter is doing the right thing by not shutting her out.  It is important to let the friend know that, although her daughter won't engage in the same behavior, she still cares. This woman began to quote bits and bobs of scripture and stated that  she only surrounds herself with true Christians because the bible says .......
 I didn't let her finish.  I excused myself and walked away because this is the type of Christian that I try to avoid.

 

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Gandhi

 

The conversation struck a nerve because I was ostracized in my youth for not living a life that met the standards of the church I was raised in.  Although I am a Christian with a strong faith, I am not someone who discusses my religious beliefs often. However, this woman's attitude has been weighing on my heart because  I have witnessed first hand the damage that the inflexible and judgmental type of faith can do.  Today I only go to church on occasion and remain skeptical about organized religion. I do not believe that salvation will be attained solely through the teachings of any earthly man, I do not believe that one finds God through tithes or through scripture memorization,  and I do not believe that salvation is limited to the space within the walls of a brick and mortar building. I do, however, believe that God is everywhere, that he is omnipotent, that he loves us,  and that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that God created people of all colors, genders, beliefs, and ethnicities so when I hear someone denounce any one  person or any one group of people I see it as blasphemy because God does not make mistakes.  I  believe that we were meant to struggle sometimes, we were meant to be challenged,  and we are intentionally tested.  God expects us to fail from time to time.  How one emerges from these challenges is between that person and God.  It is not my place to judge.  If we are were never challenged then how could we grow, become empathetic to the suffering of others,  and how could we learn what life is like outside of our own perfect little world until we experience it?

"When you think about Christianity if you think ‘condemnation’ instead of ‘salvation’ you’re not thinking biblically." Pastor Mark.

 

My pet peeve, and the reason I have not actually joined a church, is that some Christians are so busy judging other people in the name of Christianity that they forget to address their own shortcomings. There are many wonderful Christian people who I greatly admire but there are a few folks that make me wish that they would just take the fish off of their cars.

I have questioned my own faith in the past, but that only served to strengthen my faith in God.  What I appreciate about Christianity is the fact that the teachings of Jesus acknowledges the fact that mankind is imperfect. The bible tells us that no one is exempt from sin.  While the bible points out that man is imperfect, the stories in the bible demonstrate that a potential for greatness exists in everyone. We are not expected to be perfect but we need to be genuinely remorseful and ask forgiveness when we make a mistake.  Therefore, since we are all sinners  we have no business judging others. 

 

In Christianity, evil isn’t something that simply exists “out there” among thieves and murderers and meth makers. No, Christianity teaches the hard truth that the evil we observe in the world is also present within ourselves.

Racism, greed, misogyny, hatred, violence, inequity, selfishness, and pride all take shape within the human heart, so if we’re going to tackle injustice in the world, we have to start with ourselves. Christianity rejects the idea that we’re all okay.

The good news is that liberation comes not from climbing some holy ladder to try and escape sin on our own, nor from wallowing in shame and self-hatred because of it, but receiving the grace of God through Jesus and extending that grace to others.

This process begins with naming the evil within us and turning away from it—a process called repentance. 

 

Rachel Held Evans.
 

Some Christians live in a state of denial and, as a result, end up living with a fear of actually living.   I do not believe that God created us to be inflexible or to live in fear of the differences and  I believe that God wants us to succeed, he simply doesn't want us to succeed at the expense of someone else's suffering. This is marketing 101.  Whose voice will reach more people, the homeless man on the street or the CEO of a large corporation?  The bible states an expectation to share his word, to help the needy, and keep God first in our heart.  When things do not go as planned I believe that it is because we have something to learn, we have someone to meet, or we are simply not going in the direction God wants us to go.  Every life experience, and every mistake, carries a lesson. Not everyone can be the head of a corporation but, if we have faith, God will give us a fulfilling life.

 

 

Judaism is not so foolish or unworldly as to pretend that success does not also include worldly accomplishment. To build a business, invent a product, cure a patient, win a lawsuit -- all of these and more can also be reckoned success. It does no credit to life of the spirit to pretend that things of this world are trivial. We are cautioned against sacrificing soul growth to money, but also need not disdain things of this world to climb a mountaintop and live on elderberries. Turning your back on life is not a higher way to live; it is a premature way to die.

 

Rabbi David Wolpe

 

 I understand the importance of spending time with others who share the same values but that is not an excuse for turning one's back on someone who is struggling. My Christian faith teaches me to help others in need and to love my neighbor, not cut them out of my life.  The walls that people erect to segregate their group of believers from those who they perceive as flawed are not acknowledging the sin within themselves.  This seems to end up creating a breeding ground for the narrow minded attitudes that often repel people away from Christianity. I find this disappointing because I wish that everyone could see that Faith in God is about love, charity, faith, witness, and repentance.  Each religion is different but they all honor the same God. Steve Jobs said that "Different religions are all the just different entrances to the same house." 

I want the way I live my life, and my response to any life challenge, to reflect these basic Christian truths. Turning my back on a friend who is struggling is not what my faith teaches and it is not how I would respond.  The woman I mentioned can quote all of the bits and bobs of scripture that she has  ever memorized.  I simply  do not support her view.



 

Admissions

I recently read a book titled 'Admissions.'  A friend of mine loved the book and talked about it for weeks so, even though this type of read isn't what I normally reach for, a few weeks ago I was able to download the book onto my tablet for less than what I pay  for my coffee at Starbucks.   It turned out that I loved the book but the story started out so slowly that I began to have doubts about my ability to finish it. However, it was well worth reading about the incredibly boring life of the main character because those first few chapters actually set the stage for an very engaging story. The book is about a woman who was hurt once so she lived her life cautiously without taking risks and at middle age realized how much she had been missing. Although the book was very well written, as the author wove a story about the main character's daily life I struggled to understand why anyone would choose to live such Vanilla life when there are so many other flavors of living to explore.  Then it occurred to me that over the last year I have compartmentalized my own life into a series of  duties and my life was sounding very similar to the character of this story.


There have been a few other times in my life that I avoided going outside of my comfort zone for one reason or another, but I  eventually realized that my life had become a little too routine so I then made it a point to explore the adventures that waited just beyond those boundaries.   This is one of those times.




The book was a reminder to me but my inspiration actually came from a surprising source.  Over the last year I have spent a lot of time with my mother and  the people in mom's assisted living. What I noticed is that the people that are thriving are the adventurous ones  while those who are afraid to  reach beyond their comfort zone seem to  be withering away.  I found  inspiration for my own life by watching those who are in the final stage of theirs.  Grey hair, no hair, canes and wheelchairs they are still vibrant,  adventurous, not deterred by their setbacks.  My mother is a very social woman so she too is thriving now. This community has not only revived mom's spirit, it has also inspired me. With each visit I see something that makes me smile whether it be a group of elderly men dressed in fishing clothes with lures hanging from their hats, fishing poles balanced in one hand and a cane in the other while those confined to wheelchairs carry the tackle boxes as they slowly make their way to a shuttle which will take them to the lake for their weekly fishing trip.  There are a few ladies who like to race the elevators to see which one gets to the top floor first and I wasn't surprised to find that they were taking bets on the winner.  A few weeks ago I couldn't find my mother. The caregivers told me that she and her friends were on the patio having wine. When I found them I joined in for a chat and asked mom "What is in your glass?"   She looked guilty and said "Kool Aid?"  I just laughed and told her "Your doctor said an occasional glass of wine is OK. Enjoy your wine."  Her friend then pointed to her walker and said "We just need to be careful not to get caught when we drink and drive." 

 

 I always envisioned a senior center to be a series of crafts and Bingo games but I didn't want that for my mother. The residence where my mom lives has a very active social group and  what inspires me is that I have not seen a Bingo card yet.

Watching a group of seniors relish the fun in life in spite of their setbacks has been inspiring.  The book was a reminder that emotional walls are built to keep the things we fear out, but they can also hold us hostage in a Vanilla world.  So, I have made it a point to do a few things outside of my comfort zone.  I went on a date or two, signed up for a class, went out with the girls on a weeknight, began to plan a vacation for myself, and I am making time to volunteer. For the first time in a long time I feel like myself again thanks to a great read and some feisty senior citizens.