Although I love the life I am living, there are days when the demand to accomplish exceeds the time available. These days make me feel like a hamster on a treadmill and no matter how fast I run nothing changes. Next, throw in any additional challenge such as health or family issues it can be a struggle to climb back on that treadmill each day. When frustration sets in, I take a power vacation and indulge in a daydream of running away to a place of beauty and solitude. However, running away is actually planned spontaneity because most folks who run aimlessly to get away from something are also running to find something.
Perhaps this is why Cheryl Strayed’s book ‘Wild’ caught my attention. This book is a memoir of a girl whose life fell apart so she planned to run away to heal. When her mother was diagnosed with cancer, she was given one year to live. The doctors were wrong and she lived less than three months. The responsibility of caring for her mother, and the grief after, took a toll on her personal life. When she separated from her husband, she sought healing and decided to hike the Pacific Coast Highway from California to Washington State although she had never hiked before. She describes a family that is far from perfect but what captured my attention about her story is that, instead of complaining, she humanizes these imperfections while keeping her focus her mother’s love and positive spirit. When she felt that she had lost everything, she chose the path less travelled by hiking the Pacific Coast alone. Since I too love the outdoors, I can relate to her desire to escape into nature. However, I would not attempt to immerse myself in the wilderness for months because I am partial to my creature comforts such as fresh coffee in the morning and hot showers. However, I respect her for doing what most women would not attempt alone.
“I chose a story different than what most women are told. I chose to write my own story.”
Cheryl Strayed
Everyone has difficult situations to deal with at some point in their lives but many of our troubles are situations that we only perceive as a problem. Society has spoon fed us a reality that doesn’t exist so there are times when we fail to achieve this unrealistic expectation and we end up bearing a burden that we actually have control over. The reality is that we do not live in a perfect world, yet we expect perfection. Yes, there is death, violence, and pain but when I look closely at my life I see more good than bad.
This book helped me realize that I have the ability to create my own reality. My burdens exist because of my expectations. There are tasks on my desk that I can postpone or delegate but I set the expectation to complete it today. The chores waiting at home to be completed are actually signs of living and loving. After all, how could I complain about the precious handprints from a granddaughter that I love spending time with or those clean dishes waiting to be put away after meals with my children yesterday, or the vacuuming to keep up with dogs who love me unconditionally? The world will not stop if my floors are not vacuumed until tomorrow. My house may never be featured in a home magazine but the signs of love are everywhere. I accepted long ago that I will never again have the body of a 20 year old but I refuse to allow this to become a burden for me because am more active and healthy than many of my friends. Most of my troubles are truly not troubles at all. They are merely part of living a realistic life and the challenge is to maintain that perspective.
Perception is reality and my reality is where my heart is. The author of “Wild” was searching for the pieces of her heart that were scattered by her grief but even she had a route mapped out and a return date. I know where my heart is and, although the day to day routine can be stressful, it is also reassuring. When life has no clear direction, the daily routine is like solid ground so I won’t wander too far into the unknown. I love new adventures and sometimes closing my eyes for a power vacation isn’t enough. There is an art to running away so I have plans to run away and reconnect with myself in the near future. A kayak trip, a trip to the beach, and a trip to the mountains are on my agenda .....and all of them involve hot coffee in the mornings, daily showers, and a return date.
