The J Stroke

The most apt analogy of life that I have ever heard is that living is like navigating a river.  No two rivers are alike, the shoreline is ever changing, and the currents can offer anything from a relaxing float to an adrenaline pumped ride over rapids. 

I think I like this analogy so much because one of my favorite activities is to take my kayak out for a paddle.  This activity doesn't appeal to everyone, but I love it.  When I try to describe what it is like, I can't. This is an experience that must be experienced to be appreciated. I could not adequately describe the beauty of the Northern Lakes. It is impossible to share the feeling of watching eagles soar over your head while a mother duck and four small ducklings race alongside your kayak.  How many people have had the opportunity to navigate a roller coaster of rapids while they paddle the Salt River and, as the water slows to a tepid pace,  you look up and see wild horses grazing along the bank.  One of my favorites is to paddle deep into the coves at Canyon Lake in the early morning as  Blue Heron sit on the shore and  mountain goats graze on the cliffs above.  While paddling at Lake Pleasant  we saw a number of Burro's grazing at the shoreline in one of the coves.  The Park Ranger told us that the miners used to use Burros and when the miners left, the Burro's were set free. They have been there ever since and the area where they can be seen is difficult to reach by motorized vehicle.  Then there is Patagonia Lake which is known for it's butterflies and, in the spring, the combination of brightly colored flowers and butterflies make it a spectacular place to paddle.

"There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose". ~ Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain


Although this activity is one of the most rewarding things I have ever attempted, I almost didn't try.  There were several reasons for my hesitation.  First, I had several people telling me all of the reasons why I shouldn't do it, plus I didn't know what to expect, and I was afraid I may not have the ability.  Once I made up my mind, it took several months before I actually got into a kayak.  However, I am now addicted and have been an avid paddler for several years. 

'The true hero is flawed. The true test of a champion is not whether he can triumph, but whether he can overcome obstacles-- preferably of his own making-- in order to triumph. A hero without a flaw is of no interest to an audience or to the universe, which, after all, is based on conflict and opposition, the irresistible force meeting the unmovable object.

The Art of Racing In The Rain Garth Stein



Sometimes I am my own biggest obstacle. The fact that I am flawed is what held me back.  I am no longer young, I was inexperienced, and I am alone but I regret that I waited so long to try this. So much time was wasted before I started in this sport and I admit that I was afraid to try because I was afraid of failure.  For many of us, when the spirit speaks to us saying we should try something new we will hesitate.  Perhaps we don't want to break out of our comfort zone  or  we question our own ability.  As for myself, I am currently faced with a potential new challenge and I am nervous.  As a woman of faith I think "Why do I need to choose? What if the risk is too great? What if I fail?"  I know God gives us free will but sometimes I wish he would give us a more precise road map too. 

However, when I struggle  with a decision an answer always comes to me. Yesterday I was on my way to work and I heard someone on the radio talking about white water rafting. He compared the river to life saying that in a white water raft the guide who steers the raft sits in the stern ( at the back of the raft). As the raft travels down the river, the guide uses a stroke that is called the J stroke to correct the direction rather than forcing control by sitting in the front of the raft.  He responds to the current just as we respond to the events in our lives.
Life is not easy,  it is not predictable, and it often seems unfair.  New situations can be frightening but my biggest fear is that I will not explore a new opportunity and end up regretting it.  Our mistakes are what make us, what teach us, and what define us.  Some mistakes are actually meant to happen and I think of these as a 'success in disguise.'  I can't control what is around the next bend. All I can do is respond to the current and enjoy the view.  If I overcome my fears to experience a new path, then take some time to look beyond my own horizon I may see even the eagles flying above me.

Two men looked out from prison bars

One saw mud, the other saw the stars.

Life Is Not A Spectator Sport

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Edmund Burke



I work for a large bank and recently we received an email advising all employees how to conduct themselves around the Wall Street Protesters since they are rumoured to start a protest in our area soon.  One of my friends got very upset and was concerned over safety.  I reminded her that all of the protests have been peaceful protests. It is merely groups of people who have united across the country to raise awareness of the situation in the world today.  However, this didn't calm my friend down. "They are protesting outside of banks and they should be stopped."  She said.

"They that give up liberty to obtain temporary safety deserves neither liberty nor safety."

Benjamin Franklin

I feel strong about certain things and my freedoms,  which are guaranteed in the Constitution of the Unites States of America, are on the top of this list.  Living in another country taught me to appreciate what others sometimes take for granted.  Unfortunately, I can also be blunt and outspoken so before I could stop myself I hear myself saying, "What are you saying? As Americans, we have the right to peaceful assembly and we have the right to free speech.  These people are exercising these rights and no one should have the right to prevent them from expressing their views as long as it is a peaceful protest.  In fact, if anyone were to try to stop them I would be tempted to go outside and join them.  When my civil liberties are threatened, I have no intention of quietly surrendering.  Some things are worth fighting for."

"You have enemies?  Good! That means you stood up for something at some time during your life."

Winston Churchill

My friend was speechless for a minute and then she rambled on about what it is costing the cities for the extra security.  I replied "Good.  That means someone is getting overtime pay but you clearly only heard one side.  Think of this,  each protester has to eat and drink. Most of these folks will purchase food, snacks, and beverages which means that the local business increase their sales plus the sales tax from these purchases goes back into the city to help pay for the cost of the security.  To be honest, I am not happy with the state of this nation either. Although I am not protesting publicly, my opinion is not going to be defined by some reporter or politician who wants the protesters  to look like they are wrong simply because their statements make the bankers, investors,  and politicians  uncomfortable."  She became silent after that and we began to talk of other things.

"An appeaser is one who will feed a crocodile hoping it will eat him last."

Winston Churchill

I had some concerns over voicing my views in a public blog and almost decided not to write this. Then it occurred to me that people who I love have put their lives on the line to protect our freedom of speech so the day that I am unable to freely voice an opinion, whether in writing or verbally, is the day that we are no longer free.  There is definitely a sense of unrest in our country today. America is strong because of it's people but the people of this country had become apathetic and indifferent.  We have become a spoiled nation who can name the contestants on dancing with the stars but cannot name the people who are influential in passing our laws. As a nation we focused on our entertainment and creature comforts as  our jobs were outsourced , factories were shut down, laws were passed which inhibit our rights to survive off of the land which makes us dependent rather than independent, our food became genetically modified causing an increase in the number of cancer deaths  yet medical care remains expensive and inadequate, unemployment rates rise along with the cost of living so the numbers of homeless and hungry people  increase and Americans missed the warning signs because their eyes were focused on their telvision sets and the warnings could not be heard over the music coming from their ipods.

"...eternal vigilance by the people is the price of liberty, and that you must pay the price if you wish to secure the blessing.  It behooves you, therefore, to be watchful in your States as well as in the Federal Government."  Andrew Jackson

We have become an apathetic nation. Now that people are not only waking up  but are also speaking up authorities are asking "How dare you?"  My response is "We dare because this governmment compromised the people of this country while our attention was elsewhere. We dare because we are free to do so." 

Wake up America.

"If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money that it values more, it will lose that too." -- Somerset Maugham

Perspectives Rise From Experience

Places, sights, flavors, sounds, and smells that remind us of a specific time in our life is what I refer to as a memory trigger.    Two places that trigger strong emotional responses with me are hospitals and airports.  Some of my most traumatic life moments have happened in one or the other.  Hospitals remind me of the birth of my children.  Airports remind me of reuniting with loved ones and of saying goodbye.

My most recent memory trigger surfaced during  a visit to the airport.  At the age of 21, I boarded a plane to go to Asia and join my husband. I remember my father walked me as far as he could.  As I was boarding, I turned and saw dad's hunched shoulders walking away and I felt my breath leave as I realized that it could be years, perhaps many many years, before I would see him again.  As the plane took off and the Superstition Mountains fell away I began to silently sob knowing that I was leaving everything I love behind for the unknown.

After 25  hours of travel, I arrived in Kai Tak Airport and found myself breathing air that was heavy with humidity.  There is a smell in Hong Kong that I have not found anywhere else.  It is  combination of  fish, ginger,herbs, humanity, and the sea. There was no bare earth anywhere, it was always crowded.  The language was foreign, the music was different, I couldn't understand what was on TV,  the food was different, but what I found most difficult is that the city was everywhere.  Even the parks were only cement playgrounds with planters boarding the walking areas.  This was a city that found beauty in man made things but  I also found a sense of kindness and compassion there that I often see lacking in American culture.

To a small town girl who was coming from Phoenix, Hong Kong felt musty and dirty but it is a city like no other.  Things I had taken for granted were luxuries there. We had a stackable washer and drier plus a small water heater which took 20 minutes to heat up before we could shower.   I soon realized how fortunate I was.  We were the only ones in the building who had them.  Each day as I walked down the hall to the stairs, I would see people washing their clothes with a bucket of water and a washboard. 

Our flat was on the 14th floor but the elevator only went to the 12th floor.   I had to walk up a couple of flights of stairs and down a long narrow hallway to reach our door.  This journey usually included  a baby, a stroller, groceries and whatever I had with me.   People shop  every day and get their food from open makets. There are no grocery stores which made it necessary to shop daily. This meant that carrying the baby and groceries up and down flights of stairs was a daily excursion.  Everything was fresh which means that shopping for food meant purchasing and killing your dinner, unless you paid someone to kill and clean it for you.  In spite of this,  I enjoyed shopping at the open market because there was an amazing array of  vegetables and fruits that were new to me.  Due to a water shortage, we only had water a few hours a day. I had to learn to store water, use it sparingly,  and then boil it before we could drink it.  In spite of the differences, I adapted and learned to open my mind so I could better understand the culture.   As a result, people seemed to accept me which made this a wonderful experience.  Eventually what was foreign to me become familiar and, when I eventually returned to America, I went through culture shock all over again.

My mother in law found a small stand that carried catsup. It was the only American condiment sold our neighborhood. I was soon known as the American blond girl who shaved her legs and ate lots of catsup. People who could speak a few words of English would stop me to ask why I had no hair on my legs or ask to touch my blond hair. One day a young man followed me as I shopped. It made me nervous until I realized  he only wanted to talk to me about our culture. He was leaving to attend college in America  and was curious.  Finally he asked me "Is catsup the American Soy Sauce?" I laughed and said yes.



Recently, I found an old journal and vividly remember writing one particular entry.  It was very early in the morning and I could not sleep. I was looking out the window watching the city and missing home.  In the far distance, I could see the shimmer of the ocean between two tall buildings.

November 1981:

"There are things I love about this place  and things that I hate.   Aside from my family, I miss the open spaces , the  spectacular sunsets, the sunrises on an Arizona morning, the smell of the desert after a rain, flowers on cactus, and people who are not obsessed with designer handbags or superstitions that make no sense. If I close my eyes, I can imagine walking on something other than concrete in an area where the only sound is a bird or the wind whistling in the trees.  I miss the outdoors, my friends, my family, but I especially miss the simple things like the smell of the desert after a rainstorm or a sunset so spectacular it defies description.  It is 5am here but at home they are getting ready for bed. Sometimes I ache to see an Arizona sunset and other times I wish I could share the treasures of this spectacular place with the people at  home.   This morning I am up early watching the sun make a pathetic attempt to provide a sunrise as it rises over  a horizon that consists primarily of concrete and skyscrapers. Yet, as I watch my baby sleep and hear the soft snore of my husband, I know I have blessings here too."

I grew up in the country so the transition to life in Asia wasn't as traumatic as it would be for some.  Throughout my life, I did a lot of camping and my dad would hunt for food.  I had no illusions on where our meat comes from and my parents taught us to be self sufficient .  Since I love fresh vegetables, shopping in the open market was a pleasure.  Later, I learned that our food experiences can be just as unappetizing for those who have never experienced a grocery store as shopping for meat that was still alive was to me. The first time my ex husband saw hamburger meat, ground up and wrapped in plastic, he got sick.  He had never seen meat ground and packaged before.  In Asia all meat was sold in an open market.  We would choose a  live animal to kill or meat from a freshly butchered carcass.  Is one more disgusting than the other? I believe that one's perspective rises from one's life experience.

Living in Asia taught me not to take anything for granted. I learned to open  my mind to a different way of living. In doing so, I learned that instead of passing judgment it is better to open my mind and my heart.   A person who lives life a little differently isn't necessarily wrong, they are just different.  If we stop judging and  try opening both our minds and our hearts instead, we end up expanding our own world.  As for myself, I learned that when I am exposed to a new and unfamiliar life event I do not want to be hard and unbending, nor do I want to mold myself into meekly accepting  whatever is before me.  Instead, I want to open  my mind enough  to see things from a different perspective without losing the sense of self that defines me.

Setbacks

My friend shared this story and I found it so inspiring I wanted to share.

The Key to Setbacks: The Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Bean

A young woman told her mother how difficult things were for her. She had been experiencing many obstacles in her life and told her mother that she did not know how she was going to make it and that she felt like giving up.
Her mother took her to the kitchen and filled three pots with water, set them on the stove and turned the burners on high. Soon the water started boiling. In the first pot, she placed carrots; in the second pot, she put eggs; and in the third pot, she placed coffee beans. She let them sit and boil.
After twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them on a plate. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a mug.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "What do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," her daughter replied.
Her mother handed her some carrots. They were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed that the egg was now hard boiled. Then the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. Then the daughter asked, "What does all of this mean?"
Her mother said that each of the three items had faced the same adversity -- boiling water. But each reacted differently.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with an open heart, but changes with the heat? Did I once have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water -- the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?



Author Unknown.