Father's day has arrived and, as usual, I miss my dad very much. Although my father is no longer with me, I feel fortunate to have so many wonderful memories of dad.
This morning I was reminiscing about a time when I was very young and we lived in the country, miles away from town. One hot, humid afternoon I was very bored and, as children sometimes do, I was complaining. Usually my dad would take us fishing or do something outdoors. This particular day he had something important to finish so we were staying at home. As I sat under a tree with my knees drawn up to my chin, I looked up to see my dad strolling towards me with a paper bag, a jug of water, and fishing poles.
There was a stream not far from our home that didn't have anything worth fishing for in it, but that is where he took me. We sat by the stream with our hooks in the water as we listened to the sounds around us. As we sat enjoying the afternoon, my dad opened the paper bag to reveal some fruit and two butter and sugar sandwiches. Butter and sugar sandwiches were my favorite at the time. We had our snack and dad talked about the tadpoles in the water, his fishing experiences when he was young, and told me things about a few plants growing nearby. For a time we just sat silently on the side of the stream as dad read a book while I dangled my feet in the water. As an adult, I can appreciate the fact that this excursion was more about enjoying the time together than the actual activity.
Throughout my life, I was fortunate to have had many moments like these with my father. What dad gave me in creating 'butter and sugar sandwich moments' were some wonderful memories and some very valuable life lessons. I learned that relationships need the investment of time to thrive. It isn't always convenient, but people we care about need to be a priority in our lives. He taught me loyalty. There were many times when it wasn't convenient for my father to involve me in his daily activities, yet he did it because I was important to him. I learned the value of compromise. Instead of scolding me for being bored, dad attempted to understand my feelings and compromise his time. Dad led by example and, through his actions, he taught me that all types of relationships involve two people. It would never be only about me. No one is perfect but, if a relationship is important to us, we should want to maintain an awareness of what is important to the other person simply because we care. Dad taught me acceptance. He told me that no one is without flaws and he loved me in spite of my imperfections. My father taught me about loyalty by always being on my side, even when he didn't agree with my choices. I learned that a good friendship doesn't require constant conversation. In the silent moments, compatibility creates it's own feeling of comfort. The most important lesson is that sometimes those 'butter and sugar sandwich moments' make the difference between sustaining a relationship or watching it fade away.
Thank you to my wonderful dad for the many 'butter and sugar sandwich moments' we shared over the years.
